OH MY GODDDD!

I love my mum! :D
She allowed me to go out!
*squeeze*
:D

Happy last day of 2009 people! :D

Last day of 2009

Hi. :D
Are you happy today?
Maybe a smile will brighten some other people's day up.
So why not? :D

No worries

It's nice to forget about all those things for a while. I feel so good. :D
Maybe that's what everyone is feeling inside.

Bye being in love

I have no idea why i wanted to change my blogskin.
I just feel like it.

And i changed into something so random. ._.

& I don't know what's going on anymore.

Ahhhhhhh, 2009 is ending.
D:

I'm sad. D:

I'm going to do it. After i feel better.

And,

I fucking love eeching! :D
She wrote 8 fucking letters for me!
Lesbo! Woaini! :D
*hugggggg*

Yeah, the future seems scary, but I'm welcoming it with opened arms.
Because no matter where i go, it will still come to me.
Hi future, see you really soon.

Feverish

I'm starting to have all those weird dreams.

First night of fever, I dreamt of the really really hot guy in fotang.
That was like, goshhhh, he talked to me and stuff.
That was the first time, i woke up like over 10 times in the night and the dream can still continue like i didn't.

Second night was bullshit.
I dreamt of this really really good guy, he helped me and we became really close.
That only happened until midway through the night.
The other half of the night, i was basically being sexually harrassed by someone.
What the fuck man.
The worse part was, i didn't know he was harrassing me, until i woke up.

Third night was a blur.

Last night was okay.

And when i woke up this morning, i realise that i have a lot of things undone.
Oh mannnnn, shit it. D:
I think i should start doing things and stop whining.
Gahhhhhhh.
I can do it.

:D!
Happy ending?
:D!

I'm so glad. So glad.

You'll see them someday.

I hate being sick. I can't concentrate on anything now.
Everything's in a blur.
Even walking is a chore.
hahaha.
Shit it.

The world doesn't revovle around you.
:D

I learnt this since primary 4.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D

HOHOHOOOOO!

Mmmmm, life is good. :D

A day off would be great wouldn't it?

I miss OBML badly. D:
I'm going taiwan soon.
I'm really tired.

Hello singapore. I'm back.
Bye malaysia lumut. May we meet again.

Okay, i'm off to OBML.
I'm going to miss all the shits i have here now. D:
Ahhhhh, 10 days is not long and not short. D:
See you on the 13th dec!
I love you computer. :D

Byeeeeee! :D

OH MY GODDDDD!
YATYAN, SHERRILL AND BROTHER IS BACK! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
I AM DAMN HAPPY.
SUPER HAPPY! :D
HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I'm feeling so much better now. I'm going to get the family camera tomorrow! No more cameras for work! Gah, big time. :D

But I feel guilty.

Now, even my dad has problem with me. I don't understand what is all the attitude he is giving me for. Forget it. I'll just keep quiet and go away. Keep away from him.
I don't even know why is he so unhappy about.
Fuck.

I miss Vanessa. D:

You're the only reason why I online. You're the only reason why I'm using the computer. I don't surf the net these few days. I don't even feel like it. But I'm here because of you.

I'm sick of computers. I guess it's just temporary.
Down.

I don't understand why I can gain so much fats.
Fuck it.

I want to go London weight management. It's getting on my nerves! D: I want to go back to when I was sec 2! My fucking stomach was fucking flat! Now it's popping out! Rawrrrrrrr! D: Bloody hell.

Suffering from mild depression. D:

I miss jinxiang. D:

I miss yatyan. D:

I miss sherrill. D:

Ryan made me addicted to this song.

I want miracles to happen.

I don't understand why I should be understanding things that I don't think I will ever need to understand. I'm panicking instead, of how little time I have left. It's time I get serious and stop wasting time. I don't have much time for the due date now. Great. How wonderful.

I can never never be a counsellor.

But I appreciate what I have now.

Apparently I want my period to come badly. & i think it is.

But i hate the PMS that comes with it. Can we just cancel that one away?

I don't know what to do.

Don't give up. Don't.

I'm really screwed up. Like everything's my fault. Crap.

I lost hope in promises.

They just hurt people all over again.

What's the point?

I should have another blog. One that nobody knows.

I feel so fucked up yet so numb.

I feel a lot, but I can't feel a thing.

I know I should be talking, but I don't think I should. It will just get worse anyway.

It sucks so much.

I'm very sick and tired of this.

Now I realise something: Don't ever ever give up the time for your friends, cause at the end of the day, you realise you will have no one to really talk to.

1 hour plus is already enough to make me half dead. What about 10 days?
I will die.

Fuck day

Fuck my fingers
Fuck my eyes
Fuck my legs
Fuck my knees
Fuck the wall
Fuck the track
Fuck the bruise
Fuck the sounds
Fuck the cars
Fuck the lights
Fuck the traffic lights
Fuck the lift
Fuck water
Fuck the headache
Fuck the dizziness
Fuck the feeling
Fuck the shower
Fuck the marks
Fuck the messages
Fuck the handphone
Fuck the ulcers
Fuck that song
Fuck all the shits in the world.
I fucking care.

Oh my god. I'm worried, happy, sad, confused, excited.
LOL.
Okay, more towards the happy side. :D
But yeah.

I hate it when my brother is sad. I'm serious. I think it's time me and my brother have a heart to heart talk.

I love it when it comes to some anniversary or birthday thing. It just lightens the mood up a lot.

I'm confused about what i'm thinking about, there's so many things in my head.

I'm worried about what's going on around me.

I'm excited about tomorrow.

Now, I'm really tired.
*yawns*

I love my brother.

Ah crap. I keep bickering with my dad. He is damn unreasonable. I can't even communicate with him now.

It hurts fucking lot okay. But I can't talk anymore. Fuck this fact.

Maybe I'll try and listen to him or something. Like don't talk back.
...
I hope it works.
Quite depressed in a way.

I'm complaining a lot nowadays. How pathetic can I get?

Empty

Mmmm, this kind of suck. But I think things are going back to the same.
Or should I say, even worse.

I said I would be there, but apparently I'm not doing a good job.
Sorry. Didn't mean it.
I just don't know how to face you anymore.

People are going overseas soon, I think I should update myself with you guys more.
Sorry for not contacting these few days.

Maybe we're trying, trying too hard.
Maybe we're torn apart.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA.

I'm so tired that I wanna sleep for 2 days. D:

Chalet was fucking cool! I love drama! :D

Class chalet was fucking fun! :D

But I still miss my house. :D

Overall: Fantastic! :D

It feels good to be home. :D

Baby, you're the best. :D Thanks for the past 4 days!

Lalalaaaa

Yay! :D *squeeze*
I feel awesome and horrible for singing. :D

How ironic. & I was hoping everything gets better few days ago.

I'm that naive. But I'm not giving up. Last lap. Do it?



Cool ain't it? Whether it's real or not. I don't know.
I just know I should cherish people around me. Before it's too late?

Directions anyone?

I said that I'll be there, but I don't know how to. I stopped sticking. You need time alone. But now, I'm too far away. How am I suppose to be there for you when you don't even need me? I have no idea.

Maybe I'll just stay at this distance until you call for me.

There's so many things that I don't know what to do about. But I can't talk to anyone about it.

Why do I love the swing?
They make me dizzy, they make me feel like I'm not real, they make me feel free.

I want to cuddle so badly.

I don't know what to do. But i'll still be there, I promise.

Whenever you remember


When you look back on times we had
I hope you smile
And know that through the good and through the bad
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down
We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
And no they won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

When you think back on all we've done
I hope you're proud
When you look back and see how far we've come
It was our time to shine
And nobody could hold us down
They thought they'd see us fall
But we, we stood so tall
And no we won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

Yeah, Oh

We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
You know that we, we showed them all
And no they won't forget

Yeah

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

Whenever you remember

Oh, whenever you remember

Sticking back once again?

Can we go out someday? :D Let's have a gathering! Or maybe we can have a date, just you and me. :D

I believe that all of us can be how we used to be. Just put in more effort? :D

We'll be fine. *hug*

D:

I don't want to fight anymore. It's so tiring. I really really want us to stop fighting.

I want this to go on and on and on.

& I'm still scared of them.

I wouldn't know, if you don't say. Do you want to start talking? Or just keep that distance?

I asked, only to see how much you trust me. Apparently not totally, but it's okay. I trust you.

I'll get our friendship back, I promise.

I don't know how, but I will try. But, can you contribute too? I don't know how to do it alone.

I'm scared, to be honest.

Do you remember?

Do you remember the times, where I used to walk you home, and we will on some random music, and start singing our lungs out? And when people walk past, we will just keep quiet and start laughing after they walk past? And also, when we use to take turns to sleep in class and waking each other up? Do you remember I used to talk about this guy, and I will start scribbling his name all over my table, which was cover in black and white paper? And do you remember there was this time we played with glues in class? And we were sticky all over, yet happy? You left a glue mark on one of my school shirt which I can't get rid of. I'm not angry or irritated at all about that mark.

I really really miss how close we used to be. How I could tell you anything in the world, how much I really trusted you. How I used to have a grip on your arm when we go out. How we use to laugh at things that are not funny at all.

Do you remember? I would never forget them. No matter how distance we are now. You'll always have a place.

I miss us.

I can smell my hair. :D

I miss fotang's people. D:

100th is reaching! :D

I still can't stop thinking about it. D:

Everything's gonna be fine, I can do it. Let's go out and thon some dayyy. LOL.

*jumps around*

Mmmm, when is this going to end?
Do I feel numb?
I have no idea what to do now.

& Mason has a dirty little secret. HAHA, I'm going to laugh at it so hard when I see him again. :D *woof*

& having shirts hanging around the bed stand is quite useful? I hope.

Hahahaha, quick, PMS, shoooooooooooooo.

My ears hurt.
& I miss Miss Ros, A LOT. D:
"You know that you'll always be my humchipeng right?!"
"Yeah!"
I feel like crying. D:

PMS

I wanted to tell you every single thing that happened so much when you called. I was prepared already. But when I heard your voice, everything just goes back in. What's my problem? Cause it's not only my problem, there's other people's problem too.

I'm really sorry for being like a jerk.

I hope this is just PMS.

I'm feel fucking down now. Why?

hahahahahahahahahahah.

& the "Hongping is gay!" post is by Andrea. She's damn lameeeeeeeee. hahahahahaha.

Hongping is gay!

Hi, i'm bored. :D

Up and down

I swung today.

There's such a word swung right?
And I didn't know that swinging can make my hands shake. I was even panting. I guess I used too much energy. But it was fruitful. At the very least, I felt way better than before.

Tension growing these few days. I wanna sit down and relax. Someday. Without any worries.

Companion

Thanks Sherrill, for today. *hug*
Sorry too.

One Two Three

Hahahaha, asshole.

I guess walking home alone is my new hobby. It's cool. Try it. Even though I can't avoid feeling a little lonely.

Time flies.

EOY? My chem's screwed. My mother tongue too. This is fuck.

I'm really tired. LOL. Every part of my body is aching. Gosh. I bet it's cause i didn't exercise recently. D:

In painnnnnnnn. D:

So what if I wanted to go so badly?

Mother Nature

I realise I'm really quite gay eh. LOL.
HOW?! D:

ECP's a really nice place to linger around. The only thing is that you will see couples lying around. Don't ask me what they are doing. I have absolutely no idea. *looks around*

I like the sea at night, when you're sitting at the artifical rock(which i used to thought it was real, now i think i'm stupid), looking at the waves crashing on the rock. The feeling is weird, but awesome. & when high tide comes, it gets creepy, cause it will look like some black watery monster coming nearer to you, trying to eat you up.

The sea's cool isn't it! There's a million kind of species living in it, it makes up 3/4 of the earth, it provide us with fantastic marine life. I guess I can never get bored of it.

I love Mother Nature. :D

I'm very very very very very tired. Like totally drained.

& I'm resisting the urge to say that I hate her.

Ahhhh, I suck, totally can't stand myself.

I don't like it when I have to wait, and nothing comes back.

The feeling is horrible.

Contented

I rather have a few friends who knows me, than having a thousand friends who don't know me.
So what if you're popular? So what if they trust you more? So what if they open up to you more?
I don't give a shit. I've got my friends. You got people going in and out of your life.

We are people from different world.

I'm tired of comparing myself to you, trying to be like you.
But sometimes, I really dislike you. A lot.

It's time I get over this inferior feeling.

I want to be able to say i'm over it, in the next few days time.

I realise life can be as happening,

& that I can never be like you.

I'm fucking fine, so stop worrying. I just want to be alone even if i'm dying for a companion.

Silence

I realise it's fucking cool to walk home from lot 1 alone. And i took 1 hour, when i can reach home in 30 minutes time.

Hahahahahaha, where's my LOL? Hahaha.

dplokijfvh0*&^%%^&*(HJ9i8urtiw4el40.

LOL, what's my fucking problem?

LALALA!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kbox with huiyi, weiting, samuel and yatyan was crazy!
*jumps*
It was FANTASTIC!
*screams*
Spammed all the songs we knew! English songs was dumb, cause only me and yatyan getting high. HAHAHA. But who cares, at least we enjoyed! :D The more I sing, the more I want to go crazy! :D even though i keep getting out of tune and they keep laughing at me, but it was FUCKING FUN!

Let's go K some other day again!

Who says you have to have a fantastic voice to sing? EVERYBODY HAVE THE RIGHTS TO SING! :D:D:D!

Friday

It's either I have to strengthen the trust, or I have to talk about it.

I'd rather strengthen it.

I hope time really do fly.

Purpose

I just realise, that I miss the times where I have nothing to do, just aimlessly walking around in places I don't know. That feeling's not fantastic, but I really misses it a lot.

I think there's something wrong with my english again.

EOY MY ASS!

I wanna sleep badly.
Should I sleep?
But I wanna wait too.

AH, Surrogates is a fab movie! :D The machines are damn hot!
LOL.
& i didn't realise talking to sister on msn's so fun! :D I'm going to disturb him. HAHA. He's damn HOT!

Okay, my eyes are closing, i'm turning in at 12 plus. HAHA.
No school! :D
*cheers*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HA!

EXAMS ARE OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

FML

My brother freak out at the sight of a beetle. He's damn gay. At least i'm scared of cockroaches, not beetles.

Fuck headaches, i'm going to invent a drink that can ease headaches asap, when i grow up.

Fuck exams, why don't they just invent a machine that can scan through our brains, and see our progress and mark?

81

Fuck.

Jinxiang, i broke your record. You did it from school to phoenix. I did it from lot 1 to phoenix.

I should delete my blog.

Screw hongping, she's a fucking bitch.

Fuck you.

I'm sorry.

EOY 3

Physic.
I swear i'm never ever going to fall asleep in class anymore. NO MORE.
English.
Yeah, i think i need siesta. I slept in english. Cool.
LOL.

(what if i retain?)

EOY 2

Gosh, my english cannot make it already la. HAHA.
But i fucking memorise the whole of chapter 5 - Bonding in Singapore. If i fail, i will fucking jump off the fucking building. LOL. A whole night of ss is enough to kill me. Bloody.

Next, history & physic. BAH. I bet i will fail both.

Good luck guys! :D

EOY

Ohhh mannnn.
Chinese is screwed. What's next?

I love swinging. It makes me forget things.

Tired. I think it's time I really need to get the amount of sleep I need.
Sigh.

The urge to study for exam is gone! Oh my god, just in 1 hour time. Great, what do I do now? D: I'm sleepy. LOL. I hate english. D: I don't have the ability to score for english. D: will I retain? D:

Yay, exams coming. Get screwed everyone!
I'm drainnnnned. HAHA.

Moon and star

Today was awesome! I've never laughed so much since a long time.

Thanks babe. *hug*

I'm going to start studying! :D Let's motivate one another! :D

Why is it that when I try to make things better, another thing will crop up and clash?

Life's a joke.

I wish I was more capable.

You said that you're going to get stronger.
In order to protect me.
But now, I'm going to protect you. Until the day you heal.

You said that I'd better not wear masks in front of you, or you will rip my face apart.
But now, I don't have the choice but to have them on.

You said sorry cause you thought you're irritating for telling me every single thing about you.
I don't mind at all, or should I say it this way.
I want you to tell me every single thing.

You said that you'll never leave me, cause you love me.
Well, I'll drift away at times, but I promise you that I'll always be within your contact zone.

I'll be here when you need me, this was what you said.

Thanks for every single thing. I know I'm fucked up nowadays. Thanks for crying, for laughing, for smiling, for scolding and everything else.

I love Sherrill.

Hahahaha! This was the song! The new day new life one. HAHA.

Feeling Good by Muse

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Reeds drifting on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea
You know how I feel
River running free
You know how I feel
Blossom in the trees
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
I'm feeling good

Dragonflies out in the sun
You know what I mean
So you know
Butterflies all having fun
You know what I mean
Sleep in peace
When the day is done
It's an old world
It's a new world
It's a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine
You know how I feel
Said I'll be fine
You know how I feel
Oh! freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me

Ooh feeling good
Ooh feeling good
Feeling good
Feeling good

Yay! A happier post!

I realise that my blog is emo.
LOL.
What shit man.
HAHA.
I'm going to laugh today, tomorrow, and the following tomorrow. And every single day. I will and I must. Laughing makes people feel so much better even if they are fucked up.

I have the temptation to eat now, but its late. Ah, fuck all the fats. Why does food have to be fattening? LOL. Why do I have to control my diet? Why can't I just eat all day long?

Today is going to be better. I can see that. HAHA. Like I got crystal ball like that. - - I'm going to help people later on, at 8. I'm so looking forward to it! Its been a long time since I've helped anyone. Makes me feel kind of empty. I look forward to Today. Its a new day. New life.
Its a new day, a new life (is it a song? part of a song? why is there a melody going through my head when i typed it? or is it something like, "its a new day, a new dawn? song?" IDK)

I'm suppose to be sleeping now. I have to get up at 7 tomorrow. Gosh. It 2:22 now. HAHA, cool! Ah! It changed to 2:23! D: why can't time stop?

I wanna go wild someday, go and do all the things I've always wanted to do. Go and be a bad person for a day. I doubt I can resist the temptation of smiling at strangers though. HAHA. Aren't I weird? My english is soooo wrong, but I don't wanna change them. They're cool. LOL. *smacks self*

Okay, I need to improve my language. LOL. Like a lot. Chinese and English. D: but I don't really mind if I retain now. Its so tiring to keep going on when there's no sign of improvement. I feel like giving up.

I wanna go to the playground someday again, and play colour catching! :D blindmise(idk how to spell) too! Iceman, catching. Whatever you name it. :D I wanna sweat my fats out! Sweat away my worries and thoughts! :D

I love basketball! Its fantastic. Everyone should try it. But for playing only. When its the real thing, its stressful, and the fun goes away. D: okay, actually this only applies to me, I think. LOL. I love night basketball even more, its cooling! :D I wanna lay on the basketball court after playing. Looking up at the night sky, counting the stars. Even though I'm certain that you wouldn't be able to see any stars in Singapore.

Its been a long long long long time since I've posted such a long post. I'm trying to think of all the happy moments now. Its kind of cool and sad. But at the very least, I do have memories. :D

I lost my sim card. I lost andrea's phone. Am I stupid or retarded?
Fuck. I'm both. I'm fucking both.

I'm not invited to your cookies love blog. Why? Cause I'm on the hate list.

Why didn't you sms me? Cause you forgot about me.

Why didn't you call me? Cause you forgot about me.

Why didn't you go when you said you would today? Cause I'm insignificant.

Why did I reject your offer? Cause I'm afraid that I will hurt you more with my fucked up attitude.

What am I? A fucking bitch.

What's my problem? My fucked up attitude.

Who are you? I don't fucking know.

Why didn't I go today? Cause I'm fucking selfish.

Why did I smile today? Cause I can't fucking cry.

Why did it turn out to be like this? Cause it's all my fault.

When I thought things are going to get better, I screwed up.

Why did I even want to screw it up? Cause I want them to hate me.

Why in the world did I want them to hate me? Cause I'm not worth it.

I looked into the mirror and I saw a loser standing there. What else?

I'm a closed book. And I'm not opening up for you. You lost my trust.

What's more? My heart's in pieces.

Run

Cross country.
I'm going to make it.
Run. This is all that's required from me.

My eyes hurt. My brain is not working at all. Oh fuck. I think its better if I keep quiet. I make people around me frustrated and disappointed nowadays, & i'm too tired to be bothered. Maybe I should get some sleep and deal with them face on.

What's worse?
I don't feel any fucking emotion when exam is just 8 days away.

2nd/23rd

Follow through
Make your dreams come true
Don't give up the fight
You will be alright
'Cause there's no one like you in the universe

Don't be afraid
What your mind conceives
You should make a stand
Stand up for what you believe
And tonight
We can truly say
Together we're invincible

During the struggle
They will pull us down
But please, please
Let's use this chance
To turn things around
And tonight
We can truly say
Together we're invincible

Do it on your own
It makes no difference to me
What you leave behind
What you choose to be
And whatever they say
Your souls unbreakable

During the struggle
They will pull us down
But please, please
Let's use this chance
To turn things around
And tonight
We can truly say
Together we're invincible
Together we're invincible

During the struggle
They will pull us down
Please, please
Let's use this chance
To turn things around
And tonight
We can truly say
Together we're invincible
Together we're invincible

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I fucking hate it.

November rain

Why can't my nails grow faster? I need something to surpass this feeling. But I hate blood, I just want the pain.

HONG².

Invincible

At times, I wish I was a better person. Most of the time, I'm just too lazy to think about what kind of person I am. Occasionally, I really wanna be a bad guy. I think I may have split personality. Stay away from me. I really want to scream. Tonight. So bad that it hurts. Can I kick anything? Or maybe hit anything? Or someone just knock me out of my senses? I want the last one.

Holidays my ASS.

I hate holidays.
Why do we even have holidays when there is just work and work and work to complete? Its stupid. No point at all. I rather school resumes. Homework are bullshit. I'm so screwed. Where is my redbull and coffee? Maybe i'll use coffee, redbull is too fattening. HAHA.

Random

I'm stressed out with piano. LOL. But its so fun. :D i want a outing with themmmm.
Ahhhh, i think i will organised one. :D

I love yatyan. Desk partners for life. :D

End of drama proposal! :D

I'm soooooo over with drama proposal! Goshhh. Relief. I still wanna sleep badly. LOL.

Okay, so things are getting so caught up that I don't know what to do.
Who are your friends? A trick question.

Unintended

I'm really really very tired now. LOL. The urge of going back into my bed is so strong! Bah. Control hongping. Control.
*breath in, breath out*

Yay, I want to fly. I love sherrill. :D

Ping, I believe things would turn out just fine. No matter how screwed up it may seem now, eventually it would be okay.
Even if you think that whatever is broken can never be mended or that things can never go back to the way before. Look on the positive side. Take it as an experience and move on. That's what you taught me, remember? If things can't seem to pick up, at least you know you tried too. If they fail to understand you and in turn lose you, I believe one day they'll realise. It's their loss, and that you're way better than this. Talk things out. If not, it's okay babe. I'm here for you.

Selfish and selfless.

I wanna quit, so badly that I wanna cry. Apparently they are so much happier just having each other, why do I have to be the extra one? I'm just someone they say I am in cause I was in. But they don't mean it. They don't mean it at all, so why do I have to be in? Being an extra is just the same as being nothing. I'm not needed. They don't care about how I feel, what I think. I don't mean it when I say I'm okay, because I'm fucking screwed.

Stop telling me you care, cause you don't fucking care. I'm just a friend, that is going away soon. This applies to every single one of you. Think about it, have you ever put yourself into my fucking shoes? NO.

High

D: I feel horrible. Maybe i should just disappear into thin air.
Lets go on a date, to hell.

But at least she feels better now. :D

Hey

I hate it when this happens. Who cares anyway.

I'm suppose to be doing drama proposal now, but I couldn't care much. Maybe I'll do it later. Tell me, when can I have a proper holiday? I guess it'll never happen.

Fuck life.

I forgot what happen in malaysia. ._.

Think of a happy future instead of one filled with darkness.

I sound weird typing this.

M'sia 1

Ahhhhh.
Trip to malaysia's a disaster.
Cobra is still a living thing right? Why the fuck do you have to kill it? Damn.

I love my dad.
He knows that i was badly influenced by that..incident? He asked me to get on the motorbike and brought me for a ride. It was fucking cool! Like gosh. He was speeding can, luckily we're in m'sia where you rarely see people in the deserted areas. LOL. Then he made the motorbike seat move up and down, don't ask me how he did it. It was so lame of him! But its damn sweet, cause he's trying to cheer me up.
Gosh, I love my dad.

Before the trip, i was whining to my dad about the government changing all the bridges to cement to replace the old wooden bridges. So, now, i can't play kicking the water. But i saw wooden bridges afterwards! Kilometres away from my grandma's house. D: I did walk there with my cousins to play. So much for whining. LOL.

I love kicking the river water while sitting on the wooden bridge.
Its damn relaxing. :D

Ahh, i'm too lazy to post everything. Half here Half there. Later. :D

24 hours

Ahhhh, why did it turn out to be like that?
D:

I'll miss you. A lot.

Whatever it takes

I'm scared of blood. It's only you and me.

You will be.

Darling, get it clear between friendships and relationships.
You have to think before you say anything.
It will cause the other party to misunderstand you and everything goes wrong.
I love you, but for the first time this year, i don't support of what you're doing now. What if he falls back for you? So what if he have a girlfriend now? It doesn't make any difference. He fell for you before, and i think he's not totally over you. People lie, to get what they want. Maybe he, more or less, got over you. But if this continues, there's a huge possibility that he will like 2 girls at a go.
Yes, you can be close, but not too close to be good.
Getting over someone is hard but darling, you're strong.

Don't give up on me, I believe in you.

I'm falling even more in love with you.

Jiade said this song is not nice. D:

Cliques? More like Lies.

Hah, how could you?
I want to quit, because you don't want me in.
Its just so simple.
I rather you tell me every single fucking problem, than lying to me, just because you don't want to go with me. I didn't say that i was going to stick to you, so you can jolly well, relax and get the fuck off.
The sight of you is so depressing that i can kill myself.
She say we need to talk, i don't even think you will even bother to voice out. You will just go on lying. I'm tired of initiating. I tried to make it right, you didn't accept my offers.

If this is what you want, then I will get out of your life.

I hate friday.
Thanks adam for tolerating my nonsense. You're my best senior! :D Lets talk again. :D

God, i managed to read finish every single one.
Some i smiled, some i laughed, some i browsed through and went off, some i stared.
Its weird to read about the past.
Its even worse when you know its not you.
Now, they just keep going through my mind.

The ones i stared at, hurt.
I kept thinking about you telling me that, she's the first girl that you have ever felt so strongly for, and maybe she will be the only one.
I'm weird.

HAHA, I think, i'm very very good at lying.
So good that i feel sick.

Go away.

No, please don't don't don't put me away from lin laoshi.
I want her as my teacher!
I don't want chinese banding!
Ahhhh, damn it damn it!
I'm confirm in the last class. D:
But at least. At the very least, don't let me be the same class as her.
I'm fucking scared that i will be now.

Please.

Ahhhh, i'm very very tireddddd.
I hate ipw. Seriously, yes, it is fun, at times. But i hate the. Reports. They're ridiculous. Okay, maybe not. But i still hate it.

I need to wake up. Keep me awake.

I love my primary school mates!
Ahhhh, they haven't chanage a bit!
Its still the "oh my godddd! hahahahah!" kind of thing.
LOL.
Baoxuan still laughs her ass off, HAHA!
Junmay is still the retarded one, AHHH!
Suatmei's still the cool ah meng! The cool aura remains around her. HAHA!
Jocelyn is still as fierce(when she hits people), and still as obedient!
Cheryl is wooo! :D Communication is still smooth!

hahahaha, oh my god.
Outing soonnnnnn! :D

& i love my drama commitee! Hahaha, i think we are super cool!
Use a huge transparent plastic bag as an umbrella/poncho which is also able to squeeze two person in it and i will say you're as cool.
LOL
We were walking on the streets like that!
& the plastic bags literally coverd up half of our body! It is so big that there is enough ventilation, thats why we didn't suffocate. HAHA. It feels like you're in the rain, but you're not wet! I can feel the rain falling on my face, but i'm dry!
Oh mannnnn. The feeling's super cool!
Try it! :D

You suck, you still walked the whole way throughout with me when it hurts so badly. You're retarded plus stupid plus i don't know! D: ahhhhh, i don't wanna walk with you ever again. (Okay, its a lie.) D:

I wanna go on a excursion, overnight, anything.
Just let me laugh.

Let me scream. Just this night. I'm begging you.

Its my fucking fault. But i still feel fucking angry when you said that.
What's your problem?
Don't want me?
Fucking throw me out.
I didn't say i don't want this place.
You want to give up on me.
Go ahead.
I don't care already.
Its either you start to talk to me normally, or you can forget about your laughing daughter.

She's gone.

Ah, fuck.
This suck.
Be a villian, for once.
I should. But i didn't. Why?

HAHA
Did i say i like yongyao at NCO concert? Mmmm, but its true what, he is a good friend!
I like teasing couples, its so fun and addictive!
LAO DA!
hahhahahahahha!

Oh man, i'm high in the middle of the night!
Oh No. D:

O O
That comment was shocking.
Ah, shut up hongping.
HAHA.
I'm crazy.
LOL.
But i'm still shocked!

I helped a guy today!
Made me happy throughout the whole night.
HAHA.
I think i'm stupid.

My head hurts, i wanna get some sleep, after getting your notice. Reply?

My aim: not to use computer from monday till thursday.
LOL
I think i will fail. LOL.

You told me you're okay, but i don't think you are.
Why are you so lenient to him?
He doesn't deserve it.
A fucktard like him should go away and get lost.
He better figure who he likes the most, if not i will cut the strings, whether you like it or not.

I'm so tired that i'm knocking on the table every 5 minutes.

I want the green bag
I want the green bag.
I WANT THE GREEN BAG.
D:
This is depressing, i want the green baggggg! D:
Buy it buy it.

At least i cheered you up, even if its only a tiny little bit.
:D

Nowadays, i keep falling asleep without shutting down the computer!
Imagine how much electricity i've wasted.
Gosh.
D:
I'm going to save elelctricity.
I'm going to stop using the computer for a few days
(really really hope so)

Ah, there's 2 tests later, & i haven't study.

Let me sleep.

I trust you, but i just can't talk, open yourself to me first?
& you didn't tell me anything too, now that i realise.
I'm so tired that i'm crying from yawning.
hahahhahaha.

I hate math.

& the timing on my blog, idk why, but its correct again.
LOL.

I can smell you.
(This is damn sick!)

Lalalala~

I hate the way it works.
Stay awake hongping! You've got work to do! Wake uppppppp.
I'm sad.
hahaha.

Its not your fault.

Haha, i told them that i'm gonna make my blog seem happy!
Its hard. Very hard.
I'm like hahahha!
But in fact i'm fuckfuckfuck.
LOL.
Woooooo.

I'm bored.

I love you.
23, a weird day.
:D

LOL.
Jiade said something stupid about this just now, but i close the msn conver!
Ahhhhh, i wanted to post it!
D:

He said something about my hormones going weird on the today, 23rd, of last month, and i confessed my love or something.
LOLL. Its stupid. HAHA

I survived through a 3 & 1/2 hour tuition of math and physic! I think i've got super powers. HAHA

& i went to the library after that!
:D!
Okay, but i have to confess, i did nothing. I was busy playing with jinxiang and vanessa at the kids corner. I feel retarded now though. But its fun!
I haven't laughed and enjoyed myself for weeks!
:D
Thanks guys!
You two made my day. :D !

I love my cliques! *hugs*

I just finished reading 30 pages of fmylife.com
I broke my record!
But i used 4 hours to do it.
It is a weak attempt to make me concentrate on other things rather than that.

Its painful.

Vanessa said that my blog's emo.
LOL.
I'm going to make it happy.
Okay, at least i will try. LOL.
Er, maybe not this post.
I can't think of anything. Stm suck most of the time.
LOL.
hahaha.
Jiade rock big time!
You will be fine with her. :D
Don't worry. :D

Its late.
I'm having double visions, but i'm not sleeping.
LOL.
I wanna try if not sleeping will make you fall sick.
Best is i get a 7 day mc!
No school for a week! :D
*prays*

No hard feelings.
My fuck.
That was a lie.

Isn't acting happy the easiest way on earth?
I think it is.
Try it, you don't have to be hardworking to master it.

I chose to ignore today.
I chose to laugh today.
I chose to keep quiet today.
I chose to ask you to go away today.
I chose to talk as though i didn't know that something was wrong with you today.
I chose to skip lunch today.
I chose to think today.
I chose to call you retarded today.
I chose to think that my friends are stupid today.
I chose to hide it today.
I chose to not ask today.

What about tomorrow?

I'm proud of you. :D

I'm glad that you're here with me.

Its painful to hear them coming out of your lips.
I kind of.. got a shock.
I nearly had a conflict with my piano teacher.
I feel horrible playing something like that for her, i'm so so so sorry. I didn't mean it, it wasn't on purpose.
I don't know why, i have difficulties concentrating on things today.

Today is emo day.

I'm like a closed book with a lock on it. The key is in my head, you gain my trust, you get the key.
After getting the key and opening the book, you will realise that there are sealed envelopes with "no entry unless permission granted" slotted in some of the pages.
All of the pages are full of ink, but you can't read them. Its all scribbles.
The envelopes wouldn't budge, you ask me about it, and i will look at you, keeping silent.

Conclusion: There's no point in getting the key at all.

This is officially my favourite video.
The pianist made this for his seven year old daughter, Sarah!
Isn't it cool?
Gosh, how loving!
:D
Love story and Viva la vida!
LOL.
Its super cool!
:D

When i said that, the look on your face, i think i kind of hurt you didn't i? I'm sorry. I don't like the way things were done. I dislike it so much that i don't even feel like talking about it. It will get hurtful. Sometimes, i think silence make the best answer.

I don't like emotional recall, that exercise's too much for me.
Sadness just too much of my thing.
My eyes are dry, so dry that it hurts.
I feel like crying, but nothing's coming out.
Slap me and make me cry.
You don't mean it, cause you don't know what's that too.

Make me cry, seriously.
I just made my brother angry, what's wrong with me?
Fuck my head.

Ahhhhhh, i feel bad towards both side.
How?
Maybe its time i do something.
TOMORROW GOT DRAMAAAAA.
& i haven't finish drama homework!
die already.
D:
& i haven't come out with some things i want to come out with.
D:
LOL.
I rock in last minute work eh.
HAHA.

I rather be a crazy bitch, at least they dare to express themselves.

My brother bought me green apple ice blended after he know it was my favourite!
Gosh, I LOVE MY BROTHER! :D
Some more he treat me can!
hahahahha.
shock eh of my life.
:D

I'm dying.
I need to sleep.
Oh my god, we are getting from bad to worse.
I think its either i find someday to spill out, or we continue like this.
Its killing me.
I love my bffs.
hahahah.
I sound stupid.

I miss the times when we do things, when we laughed over the same things, when we cry over the same things, when we slept together during camps, when we spent most of the time together.
I wished you missed them too.
I hope you do, i really hope so.
I mean it when i say you're my best friend.
I don't go around calling people my best friend.
That's retarded.
There's only 4 people in my life i've ever called them my best friend.
That's how important you are to me.
I hope you understand.
I want us back.
I believe in our friendship.
I really do.

But still, i'm sorry.
For all the things i've done and didn't do.
I'm sorry.

Fuck, when did things turn out to be like that?
Shit it.
The problem lies with me.
I'm the problem.
What the fuck?
Initiative is the thing right?
Isn't it?
Then why the fuck?
Oh my god, I think i suck not big time, but the whole time.
Seriously, i want to give up.
What's the point when its only me doing all the fuckshit and you all seem like you don't care?
I don't see a fucking point at all.
So what's new, oh, i treated all of you as my bff, and it turn out to me none of you treat me like one.
I tell you what, thanks.
I needed that.
So i'm not stress at all right, i'm suppose to go around and meet your needs.
FUCK THAT.
Talk to me.
Don't expect me to make the first move all the time.
I'm sick of it.

Vanessa said that i have no life.
LOL.
I kind of agreed.
I want to do things that i feel like doing and ignore all the other things.
Let me rest, no more homeworks.
& i love her.

I want direct ones, not indirect ones.
Why am i listening to Tonight nonstop again?
Gosh.
I hate homeworks.
Lets go out and sing, i need a singing session.

I'm still frustrated by the coming and going of these.
How do you stop them?
How do you get a mental breakdown?

I want my life to be happening.
Try it.

Oh my god.
I feel like a bitch, okay, i think i am.
Vanessa said that i'm too lenient in drama, that i have to be fiecer(idk if there's such a word).
I agree, but i don't want to scold people in drama.
Seriously.
Maybe being strict helps, she says i'm not even firm.
I need to change and adapt.
How?

Fuck the facts.
Maybe i'm better off without them.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I feel horrible.
I rather i cry and scream and make a din.
I rather you tell me that you realise i did it on purpose.
Quote of the day from sherrill: I really feel like throwing slippers right onto your face!

I love sherrill, next time we're going to have the overnight talks yeah.
Its just you and me.
:D
I spilled everything out today.
Its.. depressing to even talk about it.

My dad just got trash by my mum due to me, he came in and hit me on the shoulder and i'm laughing at him.
Isn't it weird?
I love my dad, he's so cute.
:D

I feel fucked up.

I've deleted the tagboard.
:D
Like finally.

There's only two reasons why I dislike it.

1. I'm too lazy to reply and relink people.
2. Its too troublesome.
Oh, and one more thing. I don't want you to come and comment, it will only hurt more.
So that makes it three reasons.

But i'm still not used to not seeing people's comments, okay, even though its me who deleted it. Never mind, i'll get over it.
Sorry people. D:
I love my friends. :D except you.

P.S. I'm thinking of deleting the links too.

Ahhhhh, forget it. I guess i'll never be able to finish up anything.
I'm screwed by images and memories.
So much for being happy.
Lets play the Touching Game.

I realise that staying up late alone is impossible.
& also, writing a love story is tiring.

I keep listening to Tonight by FM Static so much that it's stupid.
School without you suck.
Hope that it wouldn't happen again.

I'm busted.
No more of that.
My mind's not that good.

I can't get the fucking image off my mind.
Does that happen to close friend?
I'm disturbed, just like that time.
Get the picture off my mind, please.

Gosh, no time! D:
Why did you delete the post saying that you half lied cause you lived for nothing at the same time?
Its 4:03am.

You know what?
I think red bull doesn't work for long.
I'm like, very tired now.
Lucky i bought 4 cans of it.
Let's see..hongping's gonna be like a zombie tomorrow.
Wow.

How do you ever finish 8 chinese compos in a night?
Copy.
That's what i'm doing for 2 of them.
So i'm left with 6 more to think about.
Fantastic.

I drank red bull.
Energised.
But i still hate the taste of red bull.
Its 11:31 now.

Ah, I don't think anyone will want to help.
Forget it.
Just stay as you are blog.
You know I love you, no matter how you look like.
I'm so bored that i'm talking to my blog.
Cool.

I just realise that the timing on my blog is wrong.
Its like 12 plus now?
Eh, but i'm too lazy to change everytime.
I want sherrill help me change blog.
I'm too lazy.
Ahhh, its so unfortunate to have a friend like me.
Anybody interested in helping me to change it?

Lets go and sleep and be good kids.
Mum and Dad's going to love you.
I'm seriously bored.
Gosh.

Gosh, the last time i blogged was.. ages ago.
Nobody's gonna view my blog man.
I just feel like crapping now.
I want delete my tag board and links.
Its too troublesome.

H SQUARED!

hols & homeworks.

Gosh,
Next week is MARCH HOLIDAYS!
I'm so excited!
hahhahahs

But I've got alot of overdue chinese homework!
D:
I'm very sad now.
LOL.
Trying to finish them since LONG LONG TIME AGO.
bahhhh

This is stupid.
):

Okays.
I'm just bored.

Accompany me to the library!
LOL.
& scold me when I talk crap.
hahahahs.

Finish my work!
M U S T !

blahblahblah
:D

YEAH!

BLUE HOUSE IS THE CHAMPION HOUSE!

:D:D:D

I'm like
DAMN HAPPY!

Woo!
:D:D:D

Lets C H E E R !
:D

BAHHHHH. SLEEP.

D:

School sucks.
LOL.

I keep saying I want to post pictures,
in the end also never.
Crap leh me.
LOLLL.

I love Sherrill Seet Sze Li la.
hahahahas.
*hugs.
Very touched eh.
*cries.
LOL!
Random.

Test test test.
Bloody test-es
I'm not talking biology people.
So think STRAIGHT.
:D
I very guailan eh.
LOL.

I want to sleep.
I want holiday.
I want library!
I want to finish my homeworkS!
I want to go studying!
I want clever brain!
I want to be hardworking!
LOL.

Lets crap.
I love you, you love me,
we are happy family.
With a great big hug & a kiss from me to you!
Wouldn't you say you love me too.
LOL.

I blogged!
FINALLY.
Will try to blog oftenly yeah?
:D

BYEBYE.
:D:D:D

I love Tan Hong Ping :D
& I hope she updates like Soon.
Didn't get to meet up w you today, But its alright.
Some other day okay.
I loveeeeeee you babe.

I went for

CHINGAY!

OHMYGOD.

It was SUPER FUN!
Alot of people with crazy costumes
& Hot body!
LOL!
Woah, i sound damn sick.
LOL!

Dancing around in the costumes.
I suck in my costume can.
Feel damn lousy in it.
You see all the people there,
costume damn nice la!
LOL.

& we had to walk for like 1 hour plus?
For the audience.
DAMN FUN.
Even though my costumes are not interesting.
But its still nice of them to take pictures of us.
Even though its patheticly little only.
-.-

Then we were screaming all the way.
Sometimes trying to follow the dance steps,
Sometimes trying to high 5 with the audience,
Sometimes trying to shout happy new year to them properly.
Cause my voice is not clear at that point of time anymore.
:D:D:D:D:D

All of the audience are damn high la!
Some are also screaming with us can!
WOO!
:D:D:D:D
Some even tried to fan us cause they know we are sweating like there's no tomorrow.
LOL.
Nice people!
Touched!
:D:D:D

TONIGHT GOT CHINGAY!
Remember to watch!
hahahhahahas!
:D:D:D

wah lao.

i very bored.

School suck la.

Everyday study study study.
-.-
Not funnnnn.
D:

Tests coming also.
Damn.
Why does cher love us so much?
Hate us more la.
No need to waste ink on marking also.
zzz.

SADDDD.
*cries*
Didn't do any homework.
Didn't study for test.
I still very slack like sec 2 eh.
My class people all damn good la,
All hand up work on time.
-.-
Then everytime monitress stand up cause never do work.
LOL.
Sians sia.

Damn sia.
You don't like me your problem la.
Why make our life so difficult?
Also not i ask you to dislike me.
Use your brain.
Super pissed lor.
What the hell.
Keep your bloody attitude to yourself okay.
I'm not a person you want to go against with.
Me smiling doesn't mean that i'm not angry with you.
Its because you didn't really make me flare up.
Gosh,
Thinking of your actions just make me irritated.

Damn all the test.
STUDY.!
JIAYOUS?

No more school!
hahahahas.
Save paper!
Save the earth!
Go Green!
Green is HOT!
I'm nonsensical!
:D

My english is lousy.
:D

Today got sec 1's orientation for cca.
Some of them came to drama.
LOL.

Played and everything.
I was bored.
But acted high anyway.

& there was this super cute little sec 1 guy.
OH GOD.
He is like super cute la can.
hahahs.
He smiles also cute.
Talks also cute.
Walk also cute.
LOL!
Name is JingJie.
From 1/2.
His character just make him cute.

Awww, so in love with him.
LOL.
As a senior la.
He is too cute can.
Then my friend keep telling me to stop.
Later scare him away.
But!
Too cute to resist.

Oh ya, had a skit.
hahahha
I acted as Kenny in Army daze.
Damn.
Need to act sissy.
Damn hard can.
I was trying damn hard to shake my damn butt.
-.-
But i made JingJie smiled!
CUTE!
I'm like obsessed.
:D

The skit of the others are not bad.
hahahs.
Cause is not impromted.
So its quite easy for us.
But expectations will be higher too.
From seniors.
Kind of disappoint them.
Sorry.

After that all sec 1 went back.
Had drama session.
Got kind of scolded.
Guilty nah.
):

Talked with jinxiang for super long.
Then home.

I'm going to know JingJie.
He is so cute.

Maybe i will try to bond my class.
Maybe i will try.
Maybe i will.
Maybe.

Oh ya.
I feel from a bicycle recently.
hahahas.

One week or more already.
Haven heal.
Hurt my face, elbow and knees.
Quite stupid.
But whatever.

Chemistry is quite fun to me nowadays.
hahahs.
Cause my cher is lame.
She starts talking like a teenager.
Very cute.
Her name is Miss Chow.
(elaboration next time.)

Physics haven have a real lesson.

Chinese suck.
I feel like sleeping.
Mdm lin is back!
But.
Cher talk until like i'm feeding on lots of sleeping pills.

History is okay.
Mrs Jacob is funny.
& Ramuis is almost a living encyclopedia.
He can't stop talking about his knowledge.

Social Studies is bad impression.
Reminds me of Geog.
But I like Mrs Liew.

Emaths suck.
Subject is awesome.
But Mr Low is troublesome.
Very particular about the things needed to write.
Like the need of copying the questions down.
-.-

Amaths is like wow.
Kill brain cells like water pouring at 100ml/s.
LOL.
Exaggerated.
But Miss Chen is nice.
hahas.

English is okay.
Miss Tham is good.
But kind of not interested in it.

Conclusion.
My class is boring.
HA.

Hope for the better.
& i don't wanna sit at the first row.
Damn.

Great.
I don't know how long i never post already.
Damn.
Having some bloody moodswings.

I don't like my class.

I miss 2/8.
They are like inside my soul.
I even feel like crying.
God.

More work now.
Less fun people now.
More stupid theories now.
Less funny jokes now.

Suck.
Suck.
Suck.

My class?
No bonding.
I don't sense this bloody thing.
They say it takes time.
Maybe.

I'm even sitting on the front row.
How Great can this be?
I can't talk.
I can't daydream.

Worse.

I can't Sleep.

Ohmygod.
This is bloody stupid.
I'm like damn here and there.

I Need 2/8.