The urge to study for exam is gone! Oh my god, just in 1 hour time. Great, what do I do now? D: I'm sleepy. LOL. I hate english. D: I don't have the ability to score for english. D: will I retain? D:

Yay, exams coming. Get screwed everyone!
I'm drainnnnned. HAHA.

Moon and star

Today was awesome! I've never laughed so much since a long time.

Thanks babe. *hug*

I'm going to start studying! :D Let's motivate one another! :D

Why is it that when I try to make things better, another thing will crop up and clash?

Life's a joke.

I wish I was more capable.

You said that you're going to get stronger.
In order to protect me.
But now, I'm going to protect you. Until the day you heal.

You said that I'd better not wear masks in front of you, or you will rip my face apart.
But now, I don't have the choice but to have them on.

You said sorry cause you thought you're irritating for telling me every single thing about you.
I don't mind at all, or should I say it this way.
I want you to tell me every single thing.

You said that you'll never leave me, cause you love me.
Well, I'll drift away at times, but I promise you that I'll always be within your contact zone.

I'll be here when you need me, this was what you said.

Thanks for every single thing. I know I'm fucked up nowadays. Thanks for crying, for laughing, for smiling, for scolding and everything else.

I love Sherrill.

Hahahaha! This was the song! The new day new life one. HAHA.

Feeling Good by Muse

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Reeds drifting on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea
You know how I feel
River running free
You know how I feel
Blossom in the trees
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
I'm feeling good

Dragonflies out in the sun
You know what I mean
So you know
Butterflies all having fun
You know what I mean
Sleep in peace
When the day is done
It's an old world
It's a new world
It's a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine
You know how I feel
Said I'll be fine
You know how I feel
Oh! freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me

Ooh feeling good
Ooh feeling good
Feeling good
Feeling good

Yay! A happier post!

I realise that my blog is emo.
LOL.
What shit man.
HAHA.
I'm going to laugh today, tomorrow, and the following tomorrow. And every single day. I will and I must. Laughing makes people feel so much better even if they are fucked up.

I have the temptation to eat now, but its late. Ah, fuck all the fats. Why does food have to be fattening? LOL. Why do I have to control my diet? Why can't I just eat all day long?

Today is going to be better. I can see that. HAHA. Like I got crystal ball like that. - - I'm going to help people later on, at 8. I'm so looking forward to it! Its been a long time since I've helped anyone. Makes me feel kind of empty. I look forward to Today. Its a new day. New life.
Its a new day, a new life (is it a song? part of a song? why is there a melody going through my head when i typed it? or is it something like, "its a new day, a new dawn? song?" IDK)

I'm suppose to be sleeping now. I have to get up at 7 tomorrow. Gosh. It 2:22 now. HAHA, cool! Ah! It changed to 2:23! D: why can't time stop?

I wanna go wild someday, go and do all the things I've always wanted to do. Go and be a bad person for a day. I doubt I can resist the temptation of smiling at strangers though. HAHA. Aren't I weird? My english is soooo wrong, but I don't wanna change them. They're cool. LOL. *smacks self*

Okay, I need to improve my language. LOL. Like a lot. Chinese and English. D: but I don't really mind if I retain now. Its so tiring to keep going on when there's no sign of improvement. I feel like giving up.

I wanna go to the playground someday again, and play colour catching! :D blindmise(idk how to spell) too! Iceman, catching. Whatever you name it. :D I wanna sweat my fats out! Sweat away my worries and thoughts! :D

I love basketball! Its fantastic. Everyone should try it. But for playing only. When its the real thing, its stressful, and the fun goes away. D: okay, actually this only applies to me, I think. LOL. I love night basketball even more, its cooling! :D I wanna lay on the basketball court after playing. Looking up at the night sky, counting the stars. Even though I'm certain that you wouldn't be able to see any stars in Singapore.

Its been a long long long long time since I've posted such a long post. I'm trying to think of all the happy moments now. Its kind of cool and sad. But at the very least, I do have memories. :D

I lost my sim card. I lost andrea's phone. Am I stupid or retarded?
Fuck. I'm both. I'm fucking both.

I'm not invited to your cookies love blog. Why? Cause I'm on the hate list.

Why didn't you sms me? Cause you forgot about me.

Why didn't you call me? Cause you forgot about me.

Why didn't you go when you said you would today? Cause I'm insignificant.

Why did I reject your offer? Cause I'm afraid that I will hurt you more with my fucked up attitude.

What am I? A fucking bitch.

What's my problem? My fucked up attitude.

Who are you? I don't fucking know.

Why didn't I go today? Cause I'm fucking selfish.

Why did I smile today? Cause I can't fucking cry.

Why did it turn out to be like this? Cause it's all my fault.

When I thought things are going to get better, I screwed up.

Why did I even want to screw it up? Cause I want them to hate me.

Why in the world did I want them to hate me? Cause I'm not worth it.

I looked into the mirror and I saw a loser standing there. What else?

I'm a closed book. And I'm not opening up for you. You lost my trust.

What's more? My heart's in pieces.

Run

Cross country.
I'm going to make it.
Run. This is all that's required from me.

My eyes hurt. My brain is not working at all. Oh fuck. I think its better if I keep quiet. I make people around me frustrated and disappointed nowadays, & i'm too tired to be bothered. Maybe I should get some sleep and deal with them face on.

What's worse?
I don't feel any fucking emotion when exam is just 8 days away.

2nd/23rd

Follow through
Make your dreams come true
Don't give up the fight
You will be alright
'Cause there's no one like you in the universe

Don't be afraid
What your mind conceives
You should make a stand
Stand up for what you believe
And tonight
We can truly say
Together we're invincible

During the struggle
They will pull us down
But please, please
Let's use this chance
To turn things around
And tonight
We can truly say
Together we're invincible

Do it on your own
It makes no difference to me
What you leave behind
What you choose to be
And whatever they say
Your souls unbreakable

During the struggle
They will pull us down
But please, please
Let's use this chance
To turn things around
And tonight
We can truly say
Together we're invincible
Together we're invincible

During the struggle
They will pull us down
Please, please
Let's use this chance
To turn things around
And tonight
We can truly say
Together we're invincible
Together we're invincible

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I fucking hate it.

November rain

Why can't my nails grow faster? I need something to surpass this feeling. But I hate blood, I just want the pain.

HONG².

Invincible

At times, I wish I was a better person. Most of the time, I'm just too lazy to think about what kind of person I am. Occasionally, I really wanna be a bad guy. I think I may have split personality. Stay away from me. I really want to scream. Tonight. So bad that it hurts. Can I kick anything? Or maybe hit anything? Or someone just knock me out of my senses? I want the last one.

Holidays my ASS.

I hate holidays.
Why do we even have holidays when there is just work and work and work to complete? Its stupid. No point at all. I rather school resumes. Homework are bullshit. I'm so screwed. Where is my redbull and coffee? Maybe i'll use coffee, redbull is too fattening. HAHA.

Random

I'm stressed out with piano. LOL. But its so fun. :D i want a outing with themmmm.
Ahhhh, i think i will organised one. :D

I love yatyan. Desk partners for life. :D

End of drama proposal! :D

I'm soooooo over with drama proposal! Goshhh. Relief. I still wanna sleep badly. LOL.

Okay, so things are getting so caught up that I don't know what to do.
Who are your friends? A trick question.

Unintended

I'm really really very tired now. LOL. The urge of going back into my bed is so strong! Bah. Control hongping. Control.
*breath in, breath out*

Yay, I want to fly. I love sherrill. :D

Ping, I believe things would turn out just fine. No matter how screwed up it may seem now, eventually it would be okay.
Even if you think that whatever is broken can never be mended or that things can never go back to the way before. Look on the positive side. Take it as an experience and move on. That's what you taught me, remember? If things can't seem to pick up, at least you know you tried too. If they fail to understand you and in turn lose you, I believe one day they'll realise. It's their loss, and that you're way better than this. Talk things out. If not, it's okay babe. I'm here for you.

Selfish and selfless.

I wanna quit, so badly that I wanna cry. Apparently they are so much happier just having each other, why do I have to be the extra one? I'm just someone they say I am in cause I was in. But they don't mean it. They don't mean it at all, so why do I have to be in? Being an extra is just the same as being nothing. I'm not needed. They don't care about how I feel, what I think. I don't mean it when I say I'm okay, because I'm fucking screwed.

Stop telling me you care, cause you don't fucking care. I'm just a friend, that is going away soon. This applies to every single one of you. Think about it, have you ever put yourself into my fucking shoes? NO.

High

D: I feel horrible. Maybe i should just disappear into thin air.
Lets go on a date, to hell.

But at least she feels better now. :D

Hey

I hate it when this happens. Who cares anyway.

I'm suppose to be doing drama proposal now, but I couldn't care much. Maybe I'll do it later. Tell me, when can I have a proper holiday? I guess it'll never happen.

Fuck life.

I forgot what happen in malaysia. ._.

Think of a happy future instead of one filled with darkness.

I sound weird typing this.

M'sia 1

Ahhhhh.
Trip to malaysia's a disaster.
Cobra is still a living thing right? Why the fuck do you have to kill it? Damn.

I love my dad.
He knows that i was badly influenced by that..incident? He asked me to get on the motorbike and brought me for a ride. It was fucking cool! Like gosh. He was speeding can, luckily we're in m'sia where you rarely see people in the deserted areas. LOL. Then he made the motorbike seat move up and down, don't ask me how he did it. It was so lame of him! But its damn sweet, cause he's trying to cheer me up.
Gosh, I love my dad.

Before the trip, i was whining to my dad about the government changing all the bridges to cement to replace the old wooden bridges. So, now, i can't play kicking the water. But i saw wooden bridges afterwards! Kilometres away from my grandma's house. D: I did walk there with my cousins to play. So much for whining. LOL.

I love kicking the river water while sitting on the wooden bridge.
Its damn relaxing. :D

Ahh, i'm too lazy to post everything. Half here Half there. Later. :D

24 hours

Ahhhh, why did it turn out to be like that?
D:

I'll miss you. A lot.

Whatever it takes

I'm scared of blood. It's only you and me.

You will be.

Darling, get it clear between friendships and relationships.
You have to think before you say anything.
It will cause the other party to misunderstand you and everything goes wrong.
I love you, but for the first time this year, i don't support of what you're doing now. What if he falls back for you? So what if he have a girlfriend now? It doesn't make any difference. He fell for you before, and i think he's not totally over you. People lie, to get what they want. Maybe he, more or less, got over you. But if this continues, there's a huge possibility that he will like 2 girls at a go.
Yes, you can be close, but not too close to be good.
Getting over someone is hard but darling, you're strong.

Don't give up on me, I believe in you.

I'm falling even more in love with you.

Jiade said this song is not nice. D:

Cliques? More like Lies.

Hah, how could you?
I want to quit, because you don't want me in.
Its just so simple.
I rather you tell me every single fucking problem, than lying to me, just because you don't want to go with me. I didn't say that i was going to stick to you, so you can jolly well, relax and get the fuck off.
The sight of you is so depressing that i can kill myself.
She say we need to talk, i don't even think you will even bother to voice out. You will just go on lying. I'm tired of initiating. I tried to make it right, you didn't accept my offers.

If this is what you want, then I will get out of your life.

I hate friday.
Thanks adam for tolerating my nonsense. You're my best senior! :D Lets talk again. :D

God, i managed to read finish every single one.
Some i smiled, some i laughed, some i browsed through and went off, some i stared.
Its weird to read about the past.
Its even worse when you know its not you.
Now, they just keep going through my mind.

The ones i stared at, hurt.
I kept thinking about you telling me that, she's the first girl that you have ever felt so strongly for, and maybe she will be the only one.
I'm weird.

HAHA, I think, i'm very very good at lying.
So good that i feel sick.

Go away.

No, please don't don't don't put me away from lin laoshi.
I want her as my teacher!
I don't want chinese banding!
Ahhhh, damn it damn it!
I'm confirm in the last class. D:
But at least. At the very least, don't let me be the same class as her.
I'm fucking scared that i will be now.

Please.

Ahhhh, i'm very very tireddddd.
I hate ipw. Seriously, yes, it is fun, at times. But i hate the. Reports. They're ridiculous. Okay, maybe not. But i still hate it.

I need to wake up. Keep me awake.

I love my primary school mates!
Ahhhh, they haven't chanage a bit!
Its still the "oh my godddd! hahahahah!" kind of thing.
LOL.
Baoxuan still laughs her ass off, HAHA!
Junmay is still the retarded one, AHHH!
Suatmei's still the cool ah meng! The cool aura remains around her. HAHA!
Jocelyn is still as fierce(when she hits people), and still as obedient!
Cheryl is wooo! :D Communication is still smooth!

hahahaha, oh my god.
Outing soonnnnnn! :D

& i love my drama commitee! Hahaha, i think we are super cool!
Use a huge transparent plastic bag as an umbrella/poncho which is also able to squeeze two person in it and i will say you're as cool.
LOL
We were walking on the streets like that!
& the plastic bags literally coverd up half of our body! It is so big that there is enough ventilation, thats why we didn't suffocate. HAHA. It feels like you're in the rain, but you're not wet! I can feel the rain falling on my face, but i'm dry!
Oh mannnnn. The feeling's super cool!
Try it! :D

You suck, you still walked the whole way throughout with me when it hurts so badly. You're retarded plus stupid plus i don't know! D: ahhhhh, i don't wanna walk with you ever again. (Okay, its a lie.) D:

I wanna go on a excursion, overnight, anything.
Just let me laugh.