Love for once

I've come to realise that I don't know how to love. If I find myself getting attracted to someone but there's no way the person will like me, I can just disregard my feelings. As if they were nonexistence. It like having a switch. I can decide when I want to turn on the power and when I want it off. Most of the time I would prefer it to be off. To save electricity.. Or to protect myself from getting electrocuted. Occasionally, there will be cases of malfunctioning. But its no big deal. I just have to learn how to fix it and have a better control. I don't know how to stop this behaviour of mine.

Even if it wasn't one sided, I still can't. I do not have the guts putting in my all. Why? I tried, but I really don't know how to do it. It feels so foreign. Like asking asking an eagle to swim in the ocean, or wearing your shoes on your hands.

Maybe I haven't found the one person that I will go crazy for. I hope so because I want to love for once. I want to know how it feels.