Time (self)

Sometimes, you just need a little time on your own.
Its not as if you're being selfish.
Or that you're being self-obsessed.
Or that you're being anti-social.
But we all need that little time for ourselves, to think, to reflect & to grow.

Frustrations

I have so much anger in me these days. I can barely calm down. Need to go for some yoga lessons.

Weak

Things that does not make you weak:

Being a listener 

Being unpopular

Staying quiet does

Being socially awkward

Being kids who do not get recognised 

Dressing in dull style

Having no money

Buying cheap things 

Being the least trendy person 

Being extremely sentimental 

Being a follower

Speaking up for yourself or your cause 

Standing up for something that you think is right when the rest of the world just sits and watch 

What makes you weak is when you decide to betray yourself and be someone else.

Love for once

I've come to realise that I don't know how to love. If I find myself getting attracted to someone but there's no way the person will like me, I can just disregard my feelings. As if they were nonexistence. It like having a switch. I can decide when I want to turn on the power and when I want it off. Most of the time I would prefer it to be off. To save electricity.. Or to protect myself from getting electrocuted. Occasionally, there will be cases of malfunctioning. But its no big deal. I just have to learn how to fix it and have a better control. I don't know how to stop this behaviour of mine.

Even if it wasn't one sided, I still can't. I do not have the guts putting in my all. Why? I tried, but I really don't know how to do it. It feels so foreign. Like asking asking an eagle to swim in the ocean, or wearing your shoes on your hands.

Maybe I haven't found the one person that I will go crazy for. I hope so because I want to love for once. I want to know how it feels.

Love

I hate doing this. I hate listening to you talk about your relationships. I hate knowing about how affected you are by your partner. I hate how your partner have a ability to make you upset. I hate to know how you care and love your partner. But I want to know. Even though I know I will never be a part of it. I don't know why. But please, please please please, don't let me fall for you. I'm praying so hard.

Its okay, time will heal this aching of mine.